I Disappeared, GHOSTED! – Quoi De Neuf?

Welcome; I am glad you are here to witness the renaissance, the rebirth, and THE rejuvenation of 3fittingwords. It’s been a while, hasn’t it?

After what seems like the most extended hiatus in our history, we have returned. This post fills in some of the gaps from the beginning of our break to the present day. It’s good to be back.

i

I started 2021 positive and ready, carrying with me the hopefulness we all had for 2020. Prepared, I had thought, for what another year with Covid would bring, this time with the skills to manage it better. By February 1st, I was quickly reminded how much this decade would be unlike any I had experienced.

I’m sure you or someone you know experienced the burnout, the stress, and the tapped-out feeling grief brings during this time. The feeling of being pushed to the edge… I know I did. I stopped updating the site, and I wasn’t proud of it. However, I never stopped writing. I kept writing in my notebooks and my poorly titled notes app sheets. Here, I learned new meanings for rest, recovery and resurgence. Guess which one of the three embodies this post.

Mentally, I commended my friends and peers who could keep going whilst I rested and recovered. Looking back, I’m not sure why I wasn’t more vocal. If I had been, maybe they could have said something to motivate me, to get me back on track. To come back, I knew I needed material; I needed to tap into the same energy that birthed 3fittingwords in the first place. What could I ever say to you after such a long time away? So, I set out to live life, garner some experiences and make the most of what existed in this new “post-covid” world. In the words of Big Brother, here are my best bits…

ii feeding the inner child

Mid-February, 2021, My mission was simple – learn to feel again. I needed to take control of my happiness and insist that it stay. I reminded myself that I’m usually happiest when learning or doing something new. So that’s what I did. Firstly, I needed to get active! I bought new rollerskates with bright red and yellow laces. I strapped on some wrist guards with a pair of knee pads, anticipating the bumps and grazes awaiting me. Looking as elegant as a newborn giraffe, I glided and tumbled by the Thames, the O2 my backdrop. I brought friends with me too. With new-found energy and our portable speakers in-toe, we got our bodies moving. I felt everything. At home, I continued to collect grey, muddy clay under my fingernails whilst working on my hand ceramics. More paint, more oil pastels, more brushes. The words and thoughts in my head transformed into coloured strokes and pinches on my pinch pots; my mind was clear. It felt good. I explored my city, rediscovering my favourite places and making new memories. I took steps to become the adult my inner child wanted me to be; carefree, inspired and at peace. I felt proud.

iii heart chakra reopening

Now, this part right here, this was the game-changer. I ramped up my self-care strategies, taking all the lessons and advice from 2020 and multiplying them. I poured into myself and took my chakra and shadow work seriously. Every day I sat with myself, grounded and acknowledging how far I had come and how far I wanted to go. By April, I felt my heart chakra finally open – the one I find hardest to tap into.

It’s a beautiful feeling to return to yourself. Return to the place where you can love and accept all your parts. It was noticeable; everyone saw it. I beamed, and with that glow came those very attracted to the light ;)! Self-love leading to adoration? TICK. Self-love leading to all new types of ships? TICK. Self-love leading to finding a new job, a career that fulfils you? TICK. Self-love leading to opps revealing themselves and swiftly providing reasons for them to exit your life? TICK. Self-love leading to your intuition being on 100? TICK

IV THE IMBALANCES OF 2022

A phrase I constantly repeated in 2021 was, “I’m going to watch everyone’s behaviours from now till the end of 2022,”* and I was right to do so! Something had shifted. 2022 had beautiful wins, followed immediately by terrible losses. I had romanticised my life so much in 2021 that when 2022 didn’t match up, it got to me. I couldn’t understand why the energy wasn’t replicating itself even though I was doing the same things, maybe even more. I found that the year’s first half was drastically different to the second. Themes of love, family and friendships positively dominated January through to June, but these themes negatively impacted me in the final parts of the year. Who would have thought it?* me clearly.

However, one thing remained consistent, me catching flights! I was able to visit Turkey, Italy, France and Bulgaria. The last trip of the year pushed me slightly out of my comfort zone, but I’d do anything for the growth new experiences bring. I ended 2022 surrounded by new faces, my love and doing what I enjoy. I’ve forgiven myself for the setbacks and destructive behaviours I snuck in these last two years, and I’m ready to move on.

Obviously, I had to schedule this post for the first full moon of 2023… * Energy by Beyoncé plays in the background *

3 fitting words for this post: ghosting, return, renewal

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